Now THAT's what I call Love!

My best friend, who just so happens to have an excellent taste in movies, told me the other day that I should watch Crazy Love--a Belgium film from 1987 by director Dominique Deruddere.

The movie centers around a boy named Harry Voss at three different points in his life. It starts out showing him in a movie theater as a boy, he has this romanticized idea of love and his friend teaches him that it's really only about sex. It shows how awkward a 12-year-old boy can be when learning about sex and about his body. In a way though it leaves you grinning, thinking the boy is so naive and innocent that it's hard not to think he's adorable. The movie then switches to his High school graduation, this is a completely different feel from his 12-year-old self... He has boils all over his body, his face--people cannot bare to look at him, women cannot stand to touch him. You feel so much despair for him but cannot help but look. This is the point in his life when he begins to descend down a dark path, which leads us to his early 30's. I won't go into too much detail about his 30's except to say that this is where the film gets its name. He had fallen in love with a beautiful maiden when he was 18-years-old, now he meets her again--only it's not the way everyone was wishing for. The movie has a very bittersweet ending. In the end I didn't know whether to smile or to cry, so I did a bit of both. This is definitely a film I will watch again, maybe one of those you watch every other year or once every few years. But it beats the pants off of Titanic, that's for damn sure.
I would have to rate Crazy Love 9/10! You can get your copy at Mondo Macabro as well as some other really awesome films!

Your head is WAY too small...

I finally got around to pulling out my grandfathers VHS tape of Eyes Wide Shut. Stanley Kubrick is anything but conventional and this movie is completely sexual. Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise play as a upper class family in New York during Christmas and it is revealed that Cruise's wife, played by Kidman, though never actually cheating on him had had thoughts of infidelity. For some reason that gives Cruise the idea that it's okay to cheat on her. He ends up finding himself in ridiculous situations, including talking to an attractive hooker and ending up in an orgy cult. The whole movie was going well and I thought that though jumbled, the ending would hopefully redeem itself, possibly with Cruise getting beheaded as should be because the mans head is just WAY too small for his body, I mean really out of proportion. Unfortunately, the movie just ends and leaves you wondering WTF? I would've liked to see more but it felt like the entire movie was not planned out very well and could've been better. All in all I would give this a 6/10, as I did enjoy the content overall.

Man's head is so disproportionate! 

Simply Brilliant.

I have no words to describe how utterly brilliant Albert Nobbs with Glenn Close is. This is a period drama set in Ireland around the turn of the century when jobs were hard to come by and money even harder to come by. If we thought life was bad here in the Americas we were in denial about how much worse things could get in other countries. I do not want to spoil this movie for you--however I will state that this has got to be one of the greatest movies ever created. Ever. Period. End of discussion. The story, the costumes, the acting, everything... Was impeccable. Flawless. The movie will leave you speechless and possibly in tears. My personal opinion of Albert Nobbs is a well deserved 10/10!

And May the Odds Be Ever In Your Favor!

I bit the bullet yesterday. I bought the Blu-ray copy of The Hunger Games. I will not compare it to the book as the book will forever be superior, however, I will rate the movie and say I did shed a tear during one scene.

For those of you that have been living in a whole for well over a year, The Hunger Games is a movie based off of a trilogy of books written by Suzanne Collins. Basically set in the future  where 74 years ago, our ancestors from the 13 districts, rose up in rebellion of the Capitol. As a result, every year the Capitol hosts a "Reaping" where one boy and one girl between the ages of 11 and 18 are chose at random to enter The Hunger Games. This movie is like a less violent version of Battle Royale. Anyway, to cut to the chase--my overall opinion of the movie is this: good acting (great acting from Stanley Tucci, Woody Harrelson, and Lenny Kravitz), the way the movie was shot overall could've have been done differently IMO, and it could've spent LESS time in the training area and more time focusing on the relationships that Katniss had built with other characters. It almost seemed like they thought it would be an epic fail until it didn't. I would've been happier seeing this movie in two-parts rather than it being cut dramatically short as the Harry Potter Films seemed to do. Important parts should not be left out to make way for "pretty shots" etc.

Overall, The Hunger Games receives a meager 6/10.

Something new?

Please forgive the dreary slurry eyedness... It's late! Behold my first video update which I will be trying to keep up with bi-monthly for movie and game releases. If you like this idea or have any feedback let me know, leave a comment. A big thanks to the 200 readers out there, you rock! Wouldn't have kept doing this without you guys! <3 Peace!

That spark that keeps it alive

This week has been bananas. Simply put: I lost my best friend and the love of my life, started fucking up at things I thought I was good at, found out I have a potentially lethal syndrome, got stalked by a man on a motorcycle (who tried to run me off the road and then followed me into my neighborhood until I lost him), and now here I am... I did however, get the chance to watch a couple of movies. RomComs, but hey!

So the first movie I watched was All's Faire in Love starring Christina Ricci, Owen Benjamin, Matthew Lillard, as well as other notable actors and actresses. This movie was kind of a pick me up and a little bit of an idea booster for me this week. The Jock, played by Owen Benjamin is about to fail a class unless he agrees to be Fetch boy at a Renaissance Faire, so to stay on the football team he goes. He finds himself fallen for Christina Ricci's  character who is a actress and has come to the Renaissance Faire also for the first time. Shenanigans and jokery abound in this RomCom set in a different setting. Who would've thought that someone could find love at a Renaissance Faire? Honestly, I'm quite excited to say I will be attending a Renaissance Faire this fall and who knows, maybe--just maybe--something like this will happen to me. By the by, Matthew Lillard delivers a stellar performance, hilarious and charming all in one, definitely one of his better roles since Thirteen Ghosts. This film would have to receive.......7.5/10!!!

The second movie I watched brought me to tears and kept me chuckling, Lovers in a Dangerous Time is a Canadian movie and really the only thing that was disappointing to me was that they didn't say "Eh" enough... And the ending, but I won't spoil that for you. I think I would've liked the ending more had my own ending been slightly different. This is the story of two childhood friends who drift apart after High school but reunite during their 10 year reunion. I won't go into too much detail as it is a very simple story and too much will ruin it for you, I will say if you don't like not so good footage, then you shouldn't bother with this one. I gave this one a 5/10.

It Takes a Village, or not...

I got around to watching a third movie over the weekend: Me and You and Everyone We Know. This is sort of a love story combined with other stories to give it this indie-movie dram-com feel. The stories two primary characters are Christine (a girl with many quirks who runs an elder car service and records media art on VHS) and Richard (a recently separated Dad of two who's just trying to figure out his way in life). The story has many other dimensions than just these two and they all connect somehow in the end. Take for example Richard's two sons: Peter (who happens to be played by Miles Thompson who you may have seen on Return to Sleepaway Camp and who I believe may just pop up in bigger roles one day, he seems talented enough to me) and his little brother Robby (who is obsessed with Poop); Richard & his brother have a long standing relationship with an internet chat fiend and so that one story ties in with another story that is linked with Christine: Macaroni? But in all seriousness, this movie is quirky and fun and sometimes to true to keep it from being sad... Personally my count for crying was three and they were mostly personal moments of realization or comparison. In the end the movie seems to give off this vibe of Everyone has a special someone meant just for them you just have to work to find them and to keep them, no matter how hard or frightening it may be. So I think I'm going to have to give Me and You and Everyone We Know an 8/10. ))>><<((

To the alter and down the cove

I may be overwhelmed with work and trying to fit in as much of Discovery's Shark Week as possible, but I found myself in a romance sort of mood today. So I flipped on the PS3 and searched through Netflix's recommendations and what should I find but two actors that I enjoy watching: David Tennant & Kelly Macdonald in the feature, The Decoy Bride. Tennant plays this writer suffering from writers block who is to wed this famous actress (currently set to take her retirement and trying to avoid the press). They go off to a Scottish Island that they believe to be remote and hire a decoy bride (thus the title of the film) to throw off the paparrazi. One thing leads to another and the decoy and Tennant end up actually married and trying to find the real bride on an Island full of paparazzi. The movie is absolutely adorable with great advice directed at the heart broken of us out there (myself included). Some great quotes from the movie that were a bit uplifting were:
* A life spent making mistakes, 
is so much better than a life spent doing nothing. 
*It's better when people love you back.
It's a great and light-hearted movie and of course I may be biased with my heritage but I'm a sucker for both British and Scottish accents <3 
I give The Decoy Bride a 8/10! 

Whaaaaa?! Seriously?!

Now that I'm working, I have scant time to watch movies regularly. Last night I flipped on Netflix and watched Blood and Lace a really great horror/suspense from 1971. Although most of this movie was predictable, with a teenage girl (18 I believe) being sent into a orphanage after her mother is brutally murdered, being terrorized by her mothers killer, flirted with by men of all ages and patronized by females both old and young. The result is a great movie with a surprise ending that I wasn't expecting. I give Blood and Lace a 8/10.

Now to watch SHARK WEEK!!!!!!!!

Shark Week!!! Not really...

So I finally finished my Breaking Bad-athon, season 3 & 4 all in one weekend! Yay! Go me! Anyway, I saw this little treasure from 1977, Tintorera: Killer Shark. The movie is a foreign film with general highlights from the 70's:

• Men in tight swim suits, we're talking daisy dukes here. I'm not complaining, I wish (for some men) that they still wore these swimsuits. But alas...
• Cheesy music and even cheesier catch-phrases. 
• Followed by cameras on butts and tits all the time. Because what film from the 70's wouldn't be complete without good looking men, and even better looking women (who happen to be loose).

Now don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with any of these points mentioned above, but this movie has them in abundance. Along with sharks. The real fun in this movie comes with the sharks because it has real footage of real sharks, supposedly Tiger Sharks (or Tintorera). There is some comedy in this foreign film as well as plenty of nudity.  As always there is some antagonist who has gone and pissed off the local shark population (this time by shark poaching) and the sharks feel angry! Rawr! This is not something I would watch in a serious mood, it's just too silly. Anyway, this movie receives about a 3.5/10. Worth watching if you're in the mood for something light and silly, not frightening at all.

The Strange Vice of the Bird with the Crystal Plumage

Last night was the seasonal Cinema Overdrive double-feature at The Colony, the two featured films were: The Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardh and The Bird with the Crystal Plumage. I learned a valuable lesson last night--I am no longer young like I once was. When I was young I used to be able to sit in the front row of a movie and be just fine, now I wake up the following day feeling like my spine was corkscrewed into the grown and then pulled out to quickly and my head... Oh... Don't get me started on my head... What did I drink last night? Nothing... Why does it feel as if I have a massive hangover then... Big screen, front row... no space in-between, that's why! Also, when I was young and I worked at the United Artist in G-town USA, I grew quite fond of going to movies by myself and quickly began to dislike someone next to me--friend or other. Now that I am older... I have become spoiled. I had a great friend for a long time that went to these features with me, and this is the first time he didn't... It was sad and lonely, not nearly as enjoyable as it would have been if he had been beside me. I found myself wishing I could just leave... I was cold--shivering, but not so much from the fact that the temperature had dropped so drastically due to the storms (which felt as though they were apart of the pain I felt inside of myself, but was refusing to show), but I believe was from his absence. Onto the reviews I suppose.

The Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardh--also known as Blade of the Ripper--was the second film to play, with some minor complications both during the break and during the screening (due to the weather). The print was an older print, and while I watched the movie I feared it would catch fire, though it did not. I'm not typically squemish--however--I was upset about some things which tends to make me a little more emotional when it comes to certain themes in a movie. The Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardh was not lacking in sexual elements and the director, Sergio Martino, really did a great job with the giallo element. The movie takes place in Russia, following a beautfiul woman, Mrs. Wardh (who is played by Edwige Fenech), is married to a diplomat, is ex-mistress to a crazy man, and is in love with her best friends cousin who happens to be an heir. Sounds like something straight off TV soaps, right? Right. Well there's more because there's also a crazed "Sex Fiend" on the loose who is cutting down women and killing them all over Russia. Shit kind of hits the fan, not literally, and Mrs. Wardh and George, the heir, disappear to Spain. After some time strange things start happening again and Mrs. Wardh "commits suicide"--or does she? I'm not going to spoil the whole movie for you however, I would give The Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardh a 6.5/10. Check it out if you like giallo movies.

The first feature was The Bird with the Crystal Plumage which was written and directed by one of my all time favorite directors: Dario Argento (novel written by:  Fredric Brown). Some of you may recognize the name, Dario Argento and rightfully so because he did such great pieces as: Once Upon a Time in the West, The Cat o'Nine Tails, Four Flies on Grey Velvet, Deep Red, Suspiria ***,Inferno ***, Tenebre, Phenomena, Demons, and Mother of Tears ***, just to name a few. I have enjoyed many of these titles and more by Argento and even the shoddy ones that have come out were still decent and enjoyable. The Bird with the Crystal Plumage is another giallo movie which focuses on a writer from the States who is in Italy trying to relax. He is soon to return to the states when he witnesses a brutal attack and attempts to rescue the victim. He soon gets rapped up in the investigation--as a victim and a mock-detective. His intrigue gets him and his lady love into quite a bit of danger. I won't go into more about this film except to say it is a must see for giallo fans and movie buffs. I give The Bird with the Crystal Plumage an 7.5/10.

Excuseeeee me!

So... Some of you may be wondering, wtf... Why hasn't this blog been updated in a week? Well that is a good question. I recently started a new job and left my BB family. As much as I will miss working at BB, it's time to grow up and join the real world. I have, however, been catching up on Breaking Bad, like a crazy methhead. Seriously yo! This show's CRAZY good, yo! Anyway. I have also been studying up on my materials for school and work which has kept me quite occupied over the weekdays. Instead of watching the 'ole boob tube at night before I go to bed for a few hours, I've been reading the A Game of Thrones (the first in a series of now five books in a Song of Fire and Ice set) . While I have seen the first and second season of A Game of Thrones, on HBO. The book brings so much more depth--where you didn't think the story could be any more intriguing and intricate--wonder, etc. I recommend definitely checking out the book, and if you're not a big reader, no biggie, check out the HBO series, season 1 is now on DVD, you really won't miss too much except their inner thoughts.

I'll probably only be updating on weekends and probably cramming a bit more into posts than I used to. So don't expect tons from me for a bit till I get into my groove! Till later this weekend or next, kiddies!

Who's the fairest of them all?

Sean Bean as the King

To-day is my daughter's fifth birthday! To celebrate, since it's raining and I'm poor, I rented several movies for her. One of which was Mirror Mirror starring Julia Roberts, Lily Collins, Armie Hammer, and a brief appearance by Sean Bean (I'm on a role this week with him lol). The movie was charming, bright, and everything a child should enjoy. Even better, while watching it I did not want to claw my eyes out like many other children's movies I have watched--attempted to watch--with my daughter. Mirror Mirror presents a new take on Snow White and the Seven Dwarves that girls need in this day and age. A strong role model, who--like Merida of Disney Pixar's Brave--presents a female role model who isn't dependent on a boyfriend/Prince/male to save her from harm. She breaks the mold and for a single mom of a young and impressionable girl, this is a fabulous thing. I honestly hope that Hollywood keeps up in this direction of changing what girls think of themselves. We need our young girls to have strong and intelligient female role models similar to the new Snow White of Mirror Mirror or Merida of Brave. Julia Roberts performance was not the best I had seen from her, yet she was still enjoyable for me to watch, especially because she was so despicable but kept it so light and unfrightening for a child. All in all I will have to say Mirror Mirror is more of a family movie, so for a family I would rate this a 7/10--however, if you're planning on just picking this up to watch after a movie night with movies such as Drive, then I would have to give this about a 5/10. Again, judge for yourself, just remember--this movie is geared towards families.

Why thank you, Sean Bean!

Oh what a future we are in for if movies keep getting put out below standards. Just because you have the money to have fancy make-up FX, nice stage sets, good camera equipment, and good scenery does not mean that you will produce a good movie. However, any movie with Sean Bean in it is worth watching just because he's so fucking amazing! He is by far the best actor in this entire movie! Wait a minute. I didn't tell you which movie I was talking about did I? Well, I watched The Lost Future tonight. The movie is about some post-apocalyptic future where, uh-oh brace yourselves, theirs a virus that is contagious and spread through--bite, scratch, and close proximity--that turns it's victims into "Mutants" though they're really just weird looking zombies... Really. But wait, there is hope! So some of the village people, not the dancers but people from the village, gather together and are led by Sean Bean's character, Mr. Dreamy, to find the Yellow Powder which can cure and prevent the mutation. All in all I give this movie a 3/10. I will not be watching this one again. Sooo bad. BUT the title screen is nice to look at though very noisy.

Several days ago however, I did have the pleasure of watching a movie on Netflix, for shame... For shame... I digress. This movie was called Black Death and also stars Sean Bean... Sensing a theme yet? Anyway, Black Death is a movie that actually seems pretty legit and was really well directed and produced. The acting is spot on also, which is always a pleasure. The entire cast was likable and I enjoyed their performances immensely, except for the monk (until the end when he went crazy, then he was likable). The basic premiss in a nutshell is that the bubonic plague has devastated the lands except for a tiny marsh/swamp village and the Church has sent out God's men to handle the... situation. The situation being... well... We won't go there, leave it to say you'll want to see for yourself. I would have to give Black Death a 6/10. Actually, wouldn't mind owning this one. Probably will watch it again before too long. Sean Bean helps.

London, Scotland, Yemen... Let's fish!

I know it's been a while since I've given a proper review and for that I apologize--however, today I bring you a movie that moved me so much, possibly because of the personal connection to the main character. I bring you my review of Salmon Fishing in the Yemen, it has been quite a while since I have seen such a film that would move me to pay total and complete attention to the movie and to move me to tears; not out of sadness but out of joy. Salmon Fishing in the Yemen is the story of a man who has Asperger's Syndrome--an Autism range disorder characterized by high functioning individuals who tend to be incredibly intelligent especially in one field or subject, who are very loving deep down but may come off as uncaring and cold or distant--the character is a fisherman and a scientist, as Faith is not something you can really teach or that a person with Asperger's can really grasp. A Sheik employs him and an assistant to bring fishing to the Yemen, but really to bring Faith to his people. I don't want to get into more of the synopsis than that, needless to say I was deeply moved by the movie--not just for personal reasons (I have personal experience with Asperger's Syndrome thus why I understand it and enjoy when I see characters in movies THRIVING even when presented with a "disability" or disorder). Salmon Fishing in the Yemen has some pretty witty one liners in it and scenes that had me giggling like a little school girl, grinning like an idiot, and feeling a real connection the characters, especially the Sheik, you can't help but love his character. All in all I'm going to have to say that Salmon Fishing in the Yemen deserves a 9/10! Pick up your copy, Tuesday July 17, 2012. I know I will be picking myself up a nice Blu-ray copy to add to my collection. Till Next Time!

Running late!

I have watched several movies since last  I updated:

• Coriolanus
• Before and After
• We Need to Talk About Kevin

I'll just do a quick run down of these movies, starting with the worst; Coriolanus.

Coriolanus starring Gerard Butler and Ralph Fiennes (two very fine actors) is the story of... Well, it's hard to say as I turned it off less than half way through. While I thought this film would be one I would distinctly enjoy, it was not at all what I thought it would be. When I rented it I thought I could over look the obvious factor in this whole thing, the action bit (for those that know me well, I'm not a huge action fan... I tend to lean towards horror or drama). The movie follows Ralph Fiennes who is a decorated war hero who is leading Rome against an attack against a rebellion (led by Gerard Butler)--however, the twist is that it has a MacBeth-ian twist to it. All the characters talk in tones remenescent of Shakespeare's MacBeth. Overall, from what I saw, I gave the movie a 3/10. Not one I would try to dare watch again, at least not sober.

Next up on the list would be... We Need to Talk About Kevin. I think that the talking hath passed, my lady. This movie focuses on a Mother/Son relationship that is very troubled. The son is inherently evil but only around his mother, everyone else believes Kevin to be this perfect angel, this of course by the end of the movie, is found to be completely untrue by the lot of them. I enjoyed this film because it provided a different take on movies and was a refreshing change of pace from what is usually out there. All-in-all I would have to give We Need to Talk About Kevin a 5/10.

Finally, Before and After starring the ever wonderful and always talented Liam Neeson and Meryl Streep, also Edward Furlong, was a beautiful movie about just how far a parent would go to protect their child from whatever horrors the world has to offer or that the child has brought onto themselves. I really enjoyed this movie and would have to say that it deserves a 7/10.

Unicorns are no laughing matter!

Awwww Aren't they cute?!

So upon completing the requirements to enter the secret level (amply titled Whimsyshire) in Diablo III, I jumped at my chance to reign havoc down upon unsuspecting unicorns! Little was I prepared for what awaited me.
Upon entering Whimsyshire I was promptly greeted by two purple Unicorns which proceeded to rip me a new a-hole! I was prepared for cute shit but cute shit that can kick my ass? Well needless to say I ran through this little side trip with the blood thirst of a 1000 year old vampire who hasn't fed in several hundred years and the results... 

Well, at least they have cupcakes!!!

You see, I'm not very fond of girly pink and purple unicorns and teddy bears kicking my ass so my monk promptly repaid the favor 10 fold and took the loot they dropped in kind. I walked out of Whimsyshire 10k richer with a few shitty drops, one or two nice drops, and some blacksmithing/jewelcrafting pages. All-in-all it was a fun level and it will be repeated once I save up the 250k to go through again in Nightmare difficulty. Have fun kids!

Come away to the slaughter

I've heard so many good things about The Hunger Games so before seeing the movie I picked up the first book in the trilogy. While I have heard amazing things and was not let down by the storyline and content of the book, the grammatical errors and overuse of stuffy paragraph fillers that crept in and out page after page started to piss me off after a while.
Other than those little errors that could be overlooked once the story itself picked up, I loved the storyline even though it became a bit predictable at times. I am looking forward to picking up the two final installments to the series: Catching Fire and Mockingjay. Once I see the movie I'll give my actual review on that, expect it to suck seeing as movies never live up to the book.

Change Your Fate

Disney is notorious for having Princesses that are weak and needy, always needing a Prince to save them and to fall in love with. Not Brave, Disney Pixar's first feature length film featuring a female lead, an independent one at that. Brave's princess hales from Scotland and her name is Merida (played by Kelly Macdonald). She carries a bow and arrow and rides freely on her stallion, Angus. She is certainly a free spirit and her personality matches that of her fiery hair.

The story unfolds as Merida becomes of age to become betroved and her mother insists on her marrying one of the three clans of Scotlands heirs. Merida doesn't agree with this of course and sets off into the wilds where she meets a witch and begs for the witch to change her mothers mind. I won't go into specifics, but I will say this is a movie fit to be seen on the big screen! It is beautifully done, rich colors and attention to detail are stunning and leaves you awestruck. Brave is definitely one to be added to the collection as soon as it comes out, especially since my picky daughter loved it. I give Brave a 10/10! Check it out!!!

Somewhere in India

Today I ventured yet again into the world of Wes Anderson. The Darjeeling Limited is by far my least favorite movie out of the recent Wes Anderson movies I've watched. While I liked the music of this film I just wasn't really captured by this one as I was with The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou and The Royal Tenenbaums. This movie did have a great cast, as expected of Wes Anderson films. However, the story of three brothers, one whom is pushy and uptight, one who is thinking about leaving his pregnant wife, and one who is afraid of commitment just didn't suit me I suppose. Did love the scenery and the music though! Overall I gave The Darjeeling Limited a 3/10.

And this is what happens when...

Someone very important to me recommended I watch Chronicle, so I picked up a copy from my local Blockbuster and began my adventure back in time. Back... To High School! However, to my knowledge there were no boys with crazy ass telekinesis at my school, just one big ass mother fucker who could pick up anyone and drop them on their head. I digress. I was skeptical about Chronicle because I'm a bit hesitant when it comes to "found footage" films. However, Chronicle delivers.

The movie starts off slow following this one kid who's mother is dying and his mentally abusive father who lost is job and is living off of unemployment terrorizes him whenever he leaves the house. The kid saves up enough dough to buy himself a camera and we start our adventure through the eyes of a kid who gets beat up and picked on constantly. At a party with his cousin shit changes and he and his friend and cousin experience a new found power source that gives them telekinesis.
Unlike the X-men, these boys do not have some great and wise male role model to look to for advise and wisdom, instead--they act like what you would expect teenage boys to act like given super powers. Forcing the wind to lift up skirts, terrorizing kids in a toy shop, etc. etc... However, things start to go bad. While the story starts off slow and sort of tedious to keep up with, except for Steve, Steve was awesome! (As a general rule, in movies, people named Steve generally are pretty awesome)--The movie definitely picks up and makes up for in pace and volume what it lacked in the beginning.
Overall? I gave Chronicle a 7/10, because seriously, who wouldn't want to do the things those kids were doing? I know I would!

C'mon guys! Don't hit a girl when she's down!

It's probably a sin for someone who loves zombie movies as much as I do--but I've never seen Return of the Living Dead Part II, at least not that I could remember. So, while I was scrolling through the HBOgo Archives I saw this little buried treasure and decided to dive right in. Note: Finding copies of RotLD Part II or RotLD 3 are exceedingly difficult to find, though 3 is on Netflix and as I stated previously, Part II is on HBOgo (you have to have HBO to use the free go feature).

"We got a fire fight on our hands and the enemies already dead! Beautiful!"

Let's start with this really awesome fact first off. See that guy in the picture? No not the guy on the right, the guy on the left who's face looks like it's about to explode it's so red? Yeah? Can you guess who that is? No you say? But he looks familiar right? I thought so too, so as soon as I got done watching the movie I went to my faithful and trusted companion... er... Movie source, IMDB and looked up The X-Files (TV series) and sure enough, Agent Skinner (played by Mitch Pileggi) is none other than good 'ole fire fight lovin' Sarge in that there picture!
As for other notable characters that I should point out, well, you remember Freddy (played by Thom Mathews) and Frank (played by James Karen) from Return of the Living Dead? Well they're back in Part II, this time they play two grave robbers named Joey and Ed and of course all Hell breaks loose on them, Joey's girlfriend (who is incredibly hot, if not annoying at times), this boy and his sister and her boyfriend. Of course what zombie movie wouldn't be complete without some bit of older wisdom/comedy, so there is a Doctor (who's an alcoholic) as well.
 Either way, other than the movie seeming overwhelmingly similar to the first (which they actually pick fun at during the movie), this movie was pretty good. The whole movie feels similar to what happened with The Evil Dead and The Evil Dead II. I tend to just look at those as seperate entities and that way I can enjoy them more.

Overall, I give Return of the Living Dead Part II a 6/10. I would've given it higher, but the higher marks are for Return of the Living Dead which I would say in my book is about a 7.5/10 and a 8/10 for Return of the Living Dead 3 (what can I say, I love a girl in glass).

I only want 2 see u... In the Purple Rain...

I love when Wally-World has their CD's on sale in the $5 bin. I love it even more when the one I was going to pay full price for happens to ring up as $5! So, I went to Wally-World yesterday looking for some Madonna and/or Prince CD's and what did I come away with? Two Madonna CD's (Like a Virgin and Like a Prayer) and Prince and the Revolution's Purple Rain CD! So awesome! I've been contemplating a quote tattoo or phrase or something, not something stupid--obviously--but something with symbalance to me and after re-watching Purple Rain for like the second or third time this year, I think it's safe to say I may have found my tattoo. It won't be until the fall or the spring at the latest, but hopefully I can get a little of the song tattooed either on my arm or around my ankle. We'll see.

I broke up with Sobriety

On a lighter note, I rekindled my relationship with Vodka. So--yeah! Today I will be reviewing a bunch of stuff just very quickly that I've watched and just haven't gotten the opportunity to touch on, hehe get it! Touch. On. Hah! Anyway, dirty--drunken jokes aside; the list will be comprised of Gummo, The Royal Tenenbaums, The Secret World of Arrietty, and Stormhouse (did I do that one already, oh well).

First off: Gummo. Oh Gummo, you lull your victims into this secure place with your themes of innocence and then cut the throats of kittens and beat homosexual rabbits with children who probably aren't even seven years old yet. This movie was amazing--to say the least. Satanic undertones and a rich storyline mixed with real life videos of people the director grew up around make the movie that much more amazing. The cinematography is beautiful, sometimes shaky and sometimes still, focusing in and becoming unfocused depending on the scene. This movie blew my mind--my overall score for Gummo, you ask? 8/10. I would've given it a 10 but I would really like to think those kittens were real. Something tells me they weren't.

Secondly: Wes Anderson brings this beautiful messed up hodgepodge of a family together in this story of lies, money, betrayal, lust, and loss in the Royal Tenenbaums. The story surrounds the Tenenbaums (nah, shit Sherlock!) which consists of Royal, his ex-wife who focuses all her attentions to her children and later in life becomes some kind of anthropologist digging up skeletal remains and delving specifically in human history, their adopted daughter who marries a therapist but is filled with many secrets, and their two sons (one is a famous tennis player and the other is this over achiever who is kind of OCD craziness). I won't give away any more than that because it would ruin the movie, and let's face it, from what I've already said you know you want to go out and get this little gem right now! My score? 9/10.

Thirdly: Oh Studio Ghibli how I adore you! You brought us such amazing masterpieces as Ponyo, Spirited Away, Howl's Moving Castle, My Neighbor Totoro, Kiki's Delivery Service, and Princess Monoke. Here you are again, leaving my daughter and I slack-jawed in a theater full of aw-inspired children of all ages to witness The Secret World of Arrietty. I must say, I was truly impressed with the quality of the storyline, the voice acting, the artistry, and the score set up for this movie. I would go so far as to say I would even consider paying full price to own this on Blu-ray (Combo pack of course). If anyone hasn't guessed it yet, I gave this movie a 10/10. It takes a lot to impress me, however, it takes a lot more to impress my daughter. If she sits still for longer than an hour, unmoving and completely captivated and spellbound, then yes... That belongs a full-score rating.

Finally: Stormhouse...Stormhouse...Stormhouse... Sorry, I thought if I said it three times it would undo ever having watched this movie. I guess not. The storyline had potential, it could have worked. I think they should have tried to get the actors to act a little less auto-matronic and more psychotic and it could have possibly worked. This piece of trash earned itself a whopping 2/10.


Update: I loved The Secret World of Arrietty I just had to buy it for my daughter for her 5th birthday, Amazon.com--I thank you for your ever low prices!  Target usually runs DVD/Blu-ray combos of this movie for $29.99 yet I found it on Amazon.com for $19.99! Woot!

OMG! Strawberry is my FAVORITE!

Lollipop Chainsaw came out Tuesday and I finally picked up my reserved copy from Gamestop with the Jimmy Urine and Ash skins for the PS3. I don't know if it's all the typing I've been doing for my final project in my Professional Research and Reporting class or it's all the Diablo III that I've been playing, but my fingers hurt when I'm playing this game!

The game revolves around Juliet, a cheerleader at San Romero High who just so happens to be trained as a Zombie Hunter. She goes to school on her birthday to find that the school has been overrun by zombies and her boyfriend has been attacked by a zombie and bitten. Beheading her boyfriend and using some kind of magic spell to prevent him from dying she carries her lovers head on her butt, still alive and well, almost like something out of Futurama and they set off to rid the school of the undead and the bad guy who has brought this terror upon the world, and on Juliet's birthday no less! I'm only up to the cafeteria in the game so far, which is a lot of fun and very challenging. Even though I haven't beaten the game yet I give it a 8/10 so far! I love it, it's so much fun!

Hogwarts called, they want their actor back.

Example of Creepy Children: The Shining

Example of Creepy Children: The Omen

Today's review is of the new "gateway" horror film, The Woman in Black, starring the one-the only, HARRY POTTER! Er... No? That's not his name... I knew that... Starring the one-the only, Daniel Radcliffe! And a ton of seriously creepy kids... But when aren't kids creepy? I was told not even to bother with this movie, as I work at Blockbuster and most of the people I talk to generally aren't as thrilled over horror movies and don't know what they're getting into as I do, I figured 'Hey, Why not?'. Free rentals aside and all, I've definitely seen worse offenders, AHEM, Drag Me To Hell anyone. But The Woman in Black is definitely no amazing horror movie that I'll be paying to rent much less purchasing for my collection.

Case in Point: The Woman in Black

First of all, let me just get off my chest that, yes, I did watch this movie while I was working on my research paper for my English class. So I may not have grasped everything that was going on, which wasn't a lot from what I saw. Most of the scares were produced by loud noises that produce a "cheap thrill" sensation equal to that of my daughter hiding behind the door to scare me though you can still see her toes sticking out from the frame. You know it's coming but dammit all if they didn't make it so loud that it doesn't make you flinch a little just due to the sound. The spectre of the movie, the Woman in Black, reminds me of the woman from Dead Silence, so overall not frightening for me at all. Not even ranking a 1 on my Terror scale. I will give the movie one kudo. Good job on the spectacular scenery and cinematography of this movie. The way the film was shot and the costumes and the overall eerieness of the movie lends to what COULD have been a spectacular movie, had they just upped the atty a little bit. Can we stop making movies for 10-13 year olds and start making movies for people who are in their 20's and 30's?
Secondly, as stunning as Daniel Radcliffe is to stare at (particularly naked, yes I'm talking about Equiss or however the Hell you spell it) and as easily as I could get lost in those gorgeous eyes of his or that stunning British accent, all I can see him as is Harry Potter. I would like to take one lesson from Harry Potter for this movie and just Avada Kedavre the whole bloody mess! Creepy children, shitty story line, and an amazing child actor who's just too short for this role. Stick to drama's Danny boy!

Overall I give this movie a 4/10, just for the scenery though. Watch for yourself and let me know what you think. Until next time kiddies.

"Terrible One" is right

Dear Doctor... Please, Let me see how long it takes you to pronounce the last name "Jones", five seconds. Got it. Well, Doctor............. Strong, is it? Obviously reading was not your strong point in school, good thing you went into a field where all you do all day everyday is READ.

Now that I've gotten my little pet-peeve out in the air about that bit of bad acting, I'll get to what it's from and go to the news about the horrible film quality of this flick. Tonight's not so horrifying horror flick is Humans Versus Zombies. Now onto why I dislike this movie SO much. A) The cast is made up of amateurs, which some times doesn't show and you can't tell. This is not one of those times. The cast is inexperienced and lack-luster for lack of better words. One guy is down right the most annoying character I've ever had the displeasure of seeing on screen, Chip Joslin plays this guy who you just want to die, he even has a shirt that says "Terrible One" and he definitely lives up to it. One of the other characters is a total geek who gives the feeling like he's a walking encyclopedia... Not likely at all unless he has Asberger's syndrome. The one girl I thought I might like in the movie, "GamerGirlTommi" played by Dora Madison Burge becomes unlikable within the first 10 minutes of her appearance. She gives all girl gamers a really bad name, not only demanding loot from live feed viewers but also being a complete and total fucking wimp when faced with real zombies. I don't know about everyone else out there, but I've watched countless zombie flicks and played every Resident Evil and Silent Hill game and I for one at least wouldn't break down and scream my head off like a little bitch when faced with impending doom. While yes the threat of zombies chewing my tits off would be frightening, I'd certainly grow a pair and take down as many of the bitches as I could instead of hollering and attracting more. Lamesville! The one likable character is this ex-Army vet turned security guard on the college campus, who has guns and guts and is just fuckin' awesome.
B) Every once in a while the DVD copy of this movie shows off a nasty little digitized mess wherever the white is where they have obviously altered stuff in the movie, what? Probably the weather or just over-processing the colors. But still that pixelated bullshit is really annoying when trying to watch a movie.

"My eyes! My eyes! This movie sucked so bad I had to pull my fucking eyes out to stop the bad from getting in!"

I'm not even going to rant anymore about this movie, think I'll just go to bed instead. I still have a good 30 minutes left in this movie, but I give it a 2/10 overall. Definitely NOT one to add to my zombie collection.

Hey That Dogs From...

Cinema Overdrive at The Colony Theater was last night. This time they showed cult classic A Boy and His Dog (1975). I may have hyped this up in my mind, so I was a bit disappointing with the overall presentation of this showing, it is hard however to beat Ginger, which was the last presentation by Cinema Overdrive. A Boy and His Dog is a post-apocalyptic tale of a young man and his telepathic connection with his dog (who just so happens to be the dog from The Brady Bunch) and their struggle to survive and hopefully find "Over the Hill". Blood (the dog) communicates through telepathic waves sent to his companion Vic/Albert, the voice is done through voice-over. Vic finds the food in exchange Blood uses his powers to search out females and find out when danger is near.
The movie was over-all enjoyable though I wish they had shown the Screamers that had been mentioned once or twice. The ending was enjoyable, though a bit on the predictable side. The movie did seem to jump around a bit. But for what it was it was a good movie, not one I'd want to own unless it was on VHS (which very well may be the only way to purchase this classic). I give A Boy and His Dog a 5/10 overall.

It's my only wish...

So I finally got around to watching One Day last night. I have rented the movie at least three times never once even putting it into the PS3 but finally I saw it on HBO On Demand and decided why not. I was having a good day, why not a romance movie? One Day was why I don't do romance. I give the movie a 7/10 overall.
 
One Day is the story of two friends who meet in the late '80's and stay friends over twenty years, their relationship evolving and changing in complexity as they, themselves grow and change. The movie takes place on the same day each year, July 15th YY, which I found very refreshing. I love stories that mix up the time line or do something different than the day to day time events. The characters are both loveable and annoying in their own ways. Em (Anne Hathaway) is this shy little poet who is rather poor and can't seem to really speak up for herself in the beginning of the movie, Dex (Jim Sturgess) on the other hand is the exact opposite, which plays on the whole opposites attract theory. The movie was funny, clever, and heart warming but leaves you feeling alone and broken just as the characters feel. It's definitely worth seeing in my opinion but I recommend having a batch of chocolates and a box of Kleenex handy when you watch it. Maybe some vodka, just in case.

Welcome to the Future

Finally! I can say that I have seen not just the first Back to the Future but all three. While I absolutely loved the first one, the second and third began to just drag after a while. The movies deal with paradoxes and other various themes. Appropriate for both children and adults I give the first movie a 9/10, the second a 7/10 and the third a 6/10 (for pure awesome use of the name Clint Eastwood.) While I did like how the movies all intertwined, they could've done without using the same gags time after time. It became too predictable. As far as the movies over all go, I wouldn't mind having these in my collection on Blu-ray. And might I just add it's always a pleasure to see the gorgeous Crispin Glover and also to see how great Christopher Lloyd has always been (and probably will always be!)


Also found this link that compares the first and second film opening/closing. Thought it was pretty cool!

A more modern ET

After months of being told that I needed to see Super 8 and months of saying it looks stupid, I finally lived my motto and gave it a shot. Man, oh man, was I surprised. This movie was amazingly done (minus all the extreme explosions.) I really could not have asked for more in a film, especially one where the main actors are children, WHAT?! The last time I saw children act that well in a movie was, well, E.T.

Pink eye in both eyes, please make it STOP!!!!

I gave this movie a 8/10. I will go further into this review after I return from my boring alter ego lifestyle tonight, assuming that homework does not preoccupy me, Diablo III does not steal me away, or I do not rip my eyes out from this horrible pink eye I've got right now!

Edit: So, I didn't exactly get back to finishing that review of Super 8 that I mentioned, so I will continue now. The story was solid, basically these kids who are trying to enter a junior movie competition go out after curfew to tape while the train is passing by at midnight only to witness a series of unimaginable events unfold. The children continue to try to film their movie while also trying not to be found out by the military and deal with the issues between their families. I don't want to go into too much detail about anything else but let's just say if you haven't seen this movie yet, you definitely should!

Form Your Own Opinions

While I am always one to quickly hand out my opinion, and very honestly I might add, I am always backing up my opinion by saying "You should try it for yourself and form your own opinion though" unless the movie just out right sucks.
I am sick of getting patronized and yelled at for telling someone that in my opinion a movie was awesome or that I liked a movie and then they come back tell me how stupid I am and that my taste in movies is the worst they've ever seen. Really? Because for the record, 99% of the movies I've recommended to you, you liked... So, that means you're stupid and your taste sucks too. So take that. Asshat. Yeah!

Tonight I'm just going on the record and saying that I liked The Devil Inside. Yes, it was not the best movie I've ever seen, but I went into it thinking it was going to down right suck. That is how I normally go into these newer horror movies. If I want to watch a truly great horror movie, I'll watch something by Fulci, Romero, Argento, etc. etc... From tonight forward whatever I talk about I will rate on a scale of 1-10. 1 being the shittiest piece of shit that ever shit! and 10 being of epic godliness! Now, onward! The Devil Inside is a "documentary" style film that follows a college age girl who seeks to find out if she has the same disorder or ailment that has led to her mother being committed into an asylum for murder. Her mother is in Italy and is believed to be under possession, though the Vatican will not oversee her exorcism so a priest and exorcist theorist join with the girl to uncover the truth and try to exorcise the mother. I will not give away the end or anything but I will say that the movie gave me chills. I'm Agnostic, I guess since I was at some point in my life Christian the whole thought of demons and Hell still can give me the chill but no movie has been able to do such a thing since The Exorcist and The Exorcist: The Beginning, The Devil Inside did leave me with chills and made me feel like 'Hmm... Maybe I should have one of my friends pray for my soul, if there's one left of course." In the end I would have to give The Devil Inside a 4/10. It's not a movie I would watch for a second time or consider adding to my collection but it was worth the rental and wasn't a total waste of my time.

Hopefully in the coming weeks I will be able to watch the 4th season of True Blood (why bother, it was all over Facebook last year) and possibly the new Sherlock Holmes. We'll see.

1,2, and Away We Go!

I suppose now that I'm actually taking a class on emerging technologies and that this week we are learning about Blogs (in more than one class I might add); that this would be a good time to do what so many have told me I should and make my own movie Blog. So, here I am, at 12:15 a.m. when I should be asleep... Preferably playing Diablo III... Or even doing previously mentioned classes homework assignments, I am writing a Blog. Well, you're saying to yourself, get to the point already, what will this be about. I'm glad you asked! As many of my friends and acquaintances know, I have worked around movies my whole adult life, that being said I've seen way to many to keep count of and in working at a movie store for the past three years I have told customers countless times "Really... Put it back, It's that bad." So, again. Here we are. A Blog. About my movie critiques, experiences, rants, raves, etc. etc.
To get down to it, I have not watched any movies in the past week except for Contagion, which I thought was a great movie, though not many people liked it when it was released if I recall. "Too slow" was their reasoning. This was not meant to be an Action flick it was a Drama, which they do tend to be a bit slower. Just saying. I liked how the story was told and how plausible the concept was. The cast did an amazing job with everything they had to work with, Jude Law made an excellent person to detest. For those that know me, yes... I watched a movie with Matt Damon in it... I did not realize it was him until the end of the movie because he was in it so little and did not play his typical role, so for that Matt Damon, I thank you! Perhaps after this little adventure I will give We Bought a Zoo a try. That's a BIG perhaps though!

I do have high hopes that I will finally get to watch True Blood season 4 this weekend, don't know why I'm bothering though. Between Facebook and Twitter who needs to actually watch anything anymore. Also hoping to get to watch Humans Vs. Zombies, so far I have not heard good things about it. Here's hoping the people I talked to have a difference in opinion about that like the time when we differed on Madison County. Guess we'll find out when I get to see it. Apparently the whole premiss of the movie is that these college kids (because that's not played out) are actually playing the game on campus "humans vs. zombies", you know the one! With NERF guns! Sounds like so much fun, hey boss, if you're reading this, let's have a game day!!! I digress! So they're playing their game like they do and oh noes! REAL ZOMBIES! Ensue craziness! So I guess we'll see how it turned out. I sure hope this was an okay Blog post seeing as it was my first... Probably won't be my last... Just wait for what I have to say about The Woman in Black WOOHOO! Gateway Horror!!! Until then, ciao kiddies!