Why thank you, Sean Bean!

Oh what a future we are in for if movies keep getting put out below standards. Just because you have the money to have fancy make-up FX, nice stage sets, good camera equipment, and good scenery does not mean that you will produce a good movie. However, any movie with Sean Bean in it is worth watching just because he's so fucking amazing! He is by far the best actor in this entire movie! Wait a minute. I didn't tell you which movie I was talking about did I? Well, I watched The Lost Future tonight. The movie is about some post-apocalyptic future where, uh-oh brace yourselves, theirs a virus that is contagious and spread through--bite, scratch, and close proximity--that turns it's victims into "Mutants" though they're really just weird looking zombies... Really. But wait, there is hope! So some of the village people, not the dancers but people from the village, gather together and are led by Sean Bean's character, Mr. Dreamy, to find the Yellow Powder which can cure and prevent the mutation. All in all I give this movie a 3/10. I will not be watching this one again. Sooo bad. BUT the title screen is nice to look at though very noisy.

Several days ago however, I did have the pleasure of watching a movie on Netflix, for shame... For shame... I digress. This movie was called Black Death and also stars Sean Bean... Sensing a theme yet? Anyway, Black Death is a movie that actually seems pretty legit and was really well directed and produced. The acting is spot on also, which is always a pleasure. The entire cast was likable and I enjoyed their performances immensely, except for the monk (until the end when he went crazy, then he was likable). The basic premiss in a nutshell is that the bubonic plague has devastated the lands except for a tiny marsh/swamp village and the Church has sent out God's men to handle the... situation. The situation being... well... We won't go there, leave it to say you'll want to see for yourself. I would have to give Black Death a 6/10. Actually, wouldn't mind owning this one. Probably will watch it again before too long. Sean Bean helps.

C'mon guys! Don't hit a girl when she's down!

It's probably a sin for someone who loves zombie movies as much as I do--but I've never seen Return of the Living Dead Part II, at least not that I could remember. So, while I was scrolling through the HBOgo Archives I saw this little buried treasure and decided to dive right in. Note: Finding copies of RotLD Part II or RotLD 3 are exceedingly difficult to find, though 3 is on Netflix and as I stated previously, Part II is on HBOgo (you have to have HBO to use the free go feature).

"We got a fire fight on our hands and the enemies already dead! Beautiful!"

Let's start with this really awesome fact first off. See that guy in the picture? No not the guy on the right, the guy on the left who's face looks like it's about to explode it's so red? Yeah? Can you guess who that is? No you say? But he looks familiar right? I thought so too, so as soon as I got done watching the movie I went to my faithful and trusted companion... er... Movie source, IMDB and looked up The X-Files (TV series) and sure enough, Agent Skinner (played by Mitch Pileggi) is none other than good 'ole fire fight lovin' Sarge in that there picture!
As for other notable characters that I should point out, well, you remember Freddy (played by Thom Mathews) and Frank (played by James Karen) from Return of the Living Dead? Well they're back in Part II, this time they play two grave robbers named Joey and Ed and of course all Hell breaks loose on them, Joey's girlfriend (who is incredibly hot, if not annoying at times), this boy and his sister and her boyfriend. Of course what zombie movie wouldn't be complete without some bit of older wisdom/comedy, so there is a Doctor (who's an alcoholic) as well.
 Either way, other than the movie seeming overwhelmingly similar to the first (which they actually pick fun at during the movie), this movie was pretty good. The whole movie feels similar to what happened with The Evil Dead and The Evil Dead II. I tend to just look at those as seperate entities and that way I can enjoy them more.

Overall, I give Return of the Living Dead Part II a 6/10. I would've given it higher, but the higher marks are for Return of the Living Dead which I would say in my book is about a 7.5/10 and a 8/10 for Return of the Living Dead 3 (what can I say, I love a girl in glass).

OMG! Strawberry is my FAVORITE!

Lollipop Chainsaw came out Tuesday and I finally picked up my reserved copy from Gamestop with the Jimmy Urine and Ash skins for the PS3. I don't know if it's all the typing I've been doing for my final project in my Professional Research and Reporting class or it's all the Diablo III that I've been playing, but my fingers hurt when I'm playing this game!

The game revolves around Juliet, a cheerleader at San Romero High who just so happens to be trained as a Zombie Hunter. She goes to school on her birthday to find that the school has been overrun by zombies and her boyfriend has been attacked by a zombie and bitten. Beheading her boyfriend and using some kind of magic spell to prevent him from dying she carries her lovers head on her butt, still alive and well, almost like something out of Futurama and they set off to rid the school of the undead and the bad guy who has brought this terror upon the world, and on Juliet's birthday no less! I'm only up to the cafeteria in the game so far, which is a lot of fun and very challenging. Even though I haven't beaten the game yet I give it a 8/10 so far! I love it, it's so much fun!

"Terrible One" is right

Dear Doctor... Please, Let me see how long it takes you to pronounce the last name "Jones", five seconds. Got it. Well, Doctor............. Strong, is it? Obviously reading was not your strong point in school, good thing you went into a field where all you do all day everyday is READ.

Now that I've gotten my little pet-peeve out in the air about that bit of bad acting, I'll get to what it's from and go to the news about the horrible film quality of this flick. Tonight's not so horrifying horror flick is Humans Versus Zombies. Now onto why I dislike this movie SO much. A) The cast is made up of amateurs, which some times doesn't show and you can't tell. This is not one of those times. The cast is inexperienced and lack-luster for lack of better words. One guy is down right the most annoying character I've ever had the displeasure of seeing on screen, Chip Joslin plays this guy who you just want to die, he even has a shirt that says "Terrible One" and he definitely lives up to it. One of the other characters is a total geek who gives the feeling like he's a walking encyclopedia... Not likely at all unless he has Asberger's syndrome. The one girl I thought I might like in the movie, "GamerGirlTommi" played by Dora Madison Burge becomes unlikable within the first 10 minutes of her appearance. She gives all girl gamers a really bad name, not only demanding loot from live feed viewers but also being a complete and total fucking wimp when faced with real zombies. I don't know about everyone else out there, but I've watched countless zombie flicks and played every Resident Evil and Silent Hill game and I for one at least wouldn't break down and scream my head off like a little bitch when faced with impending doom. While yes the threat of zombies chewing my tits off would be frightening, I'd certainly grow a pair and take down as many of the bitches as I could instead of hollering and attracting more. Lamesville! The one likable character is this ex-Army vet turned security guard on the college campus, who has guns and guts and is just fuckin' awesome.
B) Every once in a while the DVD copy of this movie shows off a nasty little digitized mess wherever the white is where they have obviously altered stuff in the movie, what? Probably the weather or just over-processing the colors. But still that pixelated bullshit is really annoying when trying to watch a movie.

"My eyes! My eyes! This movie sucked so bad I had to pull my fucking eyes out to stop the bad from getting in!"

I'm not even going to rant anymore about this movie, think I'll just go to bed instead. I still have a good 30 minutes left in this movie, but I give it a 2/10 overall. Definitely NOT one to add to my zombie collection.