Running late!

I have watched several movies since last  I updated:

• Coriolanus
• Before and After
• We Need to Talk About Kevin

I'll just do a quick run down of these movies, starting with the worst; Coriolanus.

Coriolanus starring Gerard Butler and Ralph Fiennes (two very fine actors) is the story of... Well, it's hard to say as I turned it off less than half way through. While I thought this film would be one I would distinctly enjoy, it was not at all what I thought it would be. When I rented it I thought I could over look the obvious factor in this whole thing, the action bit (for those that know me well, I'm not a huge action fan... I tend to lean towards horror or drama). The movie follows Ralph Fiennes who is a decorated war hero who is leading Rome against an attack against a rebellion (led by Gerard Butler)--however, the twist is that it has a MacBeth-ian twist to it. All the characters talk in tones remenescent of Shakespeare's MacBeth. Overall, from what I saw, I gave the movie a 3/10. Not one I would try to dare watch again, at least not sober.

Next up on the list would be... We Need to Talk About Kevin. I think that the talking hath passed, my lady. This movie focuses on a Mother/Son relationship that is very troubled. The son is inherently evil but only around his mother, everyone else believes Kevin to be this perfect angel, this of course by the end of the movie, is found to be completely untrue by the lot of them. I enjoyed this film because it provided a different take on movies and was a refreshing change of pace from what is usually out there. All-in-all I would have to give We Need to Talk About Kevin a 5/10.

Finally, Before and After starring the ever wonderful and always talented Liam Neeson and Meryl Streep, also Edward Furlong, was a beautiful movie about just how far a parent would go to protect their child from whatever horrors the world has to offer or that the child has brought onto themselves. I really enjoyed this movie and would have to say that it deserves a 7/10.

Somewhere in India

Today I ventured yet again into the world of Wes Anderson. The Darjeeling Limited is by far my least favorite movie out of the recent Wes Anderson movies I've watched. While I liked the music of this film I just wasn't really captured by this one as I was with The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou and The Royal Tenenbaums. This movie did have a great cast, as expected of Wes Anderson films. However, the story of three brothers, one whom is pushy and uptight, one who is thinking about leaving his pregnant wife, and one who is afraid of commitment just didn't suit me I suppose. Did love the scenery and the music though! Overall I gave The Darjeeling Limited a 3/10.

And this is what happens when...

Someone very important to me recommended I watch Chronicle, so I picked up a copy from my local Blockbuster and began my adventure back in time. Back... To High School! However, to my knowledge there were no boys with crazy ass telekinesis at my school, just one big ass mother fucker who could pick up anyone and drop them on their head. I digress. I was skeptical about Chronicle because I'm a bit hesitant when it comes to "found footage" films. However, Chronicle delivers.

The movie starts off slow following this one kid who's mother is dying and his mentally abusive father who lost is job and is living off of unemployment terrorizes him whenever he leaves the house. The kid saves up enough dough to buy himself a camera and we start our adventure through the eyes of a kid who gets beat up and picked on constantly. At a party with his cousin shit changes and he and his friend and cousin experience a new found power source that gives them telekinesis.
Unlike the X-men, these boys do not have some great and wise male role model to look to for advise and wisdom, instead--they act like what you would expect teenage boys to act like given super powers. Forcing the wind to lift up skirts, terrorizing kids in a toy shop, etc. etc... However, things start to go bad. While the story starts off slow and sort of tedious to keep up with, except for Steve, Steve was awesome! (As a general rule, in movies, people named Steve generally are pretty awesome)--The movie definitely picks up and makes up for in pace and volume what it lacked in the beginning.
Overall? I gave Chronicle a 7/10, because seriously, who wouldn't want to do the things those kids were doing? I know I would!

C'mon guys! Don't hit a girl when she's down!

It's probably a sin for someone who loves zombie movies as much as I do--but I've never seen Return of the Living Dead Part II, at least not that I could remember. So, while I was scrolling through the HBOgo Archives I saw this little buried treasure and decided to dive right in. Note: Finding copies of RotLD Part II or RotLD 3 are exceedingly difficult to find, though 3 is on Netflix and as I stated previously, Part II is on HBOgo (you have to have HBO to use the free go feature).

"We got a fire fight on our hands and the enemies already dead! Beautiful!"

Let's start with this really awesome fact first off. See that guy in the picture? No not the guy on the right, the guy on the left who's face looks like it's about to explode it's so red? Yeah? Can you guess who that is? No you say? But he looks familiar right? I thought so too, so as soon as I got done watching the movie I went to my faithful and trusted companion... er... Movie source, IMDB and looked up The X-Files (TV series) and sure enough, Agent Skinner (played by Mitch Pileggi) is none other than good 'ole fire fight lovin' Sarge in that there picture!
As for other notable characters that I should point out, well, you remember Freddy (played by Thom Mathews) and Frank (played by James Karen) from Return of the Living Dead? Well they're back in Part II, this time they play two grave robbers named Joey and Ed and of course all Hell breaks loose on them, Joey's girlfriend (who is incredibly hot, if not annoying at times), this boy and his sister and her boyfriend. Of course what zombie movie wouldn't be complete without some bit of older wisdom/comedy, so there is a Doctor (who's an alcoholic) as well.
 Either way, other than the movie seeming overwhelmingly similar to the first (which they actually pick fun at during the movie), this movie was pretty good. The whole movie feels similar to what happened with The Evil Dead and The Evil Dead II. I tend to just look at those as seperate entities and that way I can enjoy them more.

Overall, I give Return of the Living Dead Part II a 6/10. I would've given it higher, but the higher marks are for Return of the Living Dead which I would say in my book is about a 7.5/10 and a 8/10 for Return of the Living Dead 3 (what can I say, I love a girl in glass).

I broke up with Sobriety

On a lighter note, I rekindled my relationship with Vodka. So--yeah! Today I will be reviewing a bunch of stuff just very quickly that I've watched and just haven't gotten the opportunity to touch on, hehe get it! Touch. On. Hah! Anyway, dirty--drunken jokes aside; the list will be comprised of Gummo, The Royal Tenenbaums, The Secret World of Arrietty, and Stormhouse (did I do that one already, oh well).

First off: Gummo. Oh Gummo, you lull your victims into this secure place with your themes of innocence and then cut the throats of kittens and beat homosexual rabbits with children who probably aren't even seven years old yet. This movie was amazing--to say the least. Satanic undertones and a rich storyline mixed with real life videos of people the director grew up around make the movie that much more amazing. The cinematography is beautiful, sometimes shaky and sometimes still, focusing in and becoming unfocused depending on the scene. This movie blew my mind--my overall score for Gummo, you ask? 8/10. I would've given it a 10 but I would really like to think those kittens were real. Something tells me they weren't.

Secondly: Wes Anderson brings this beautiful messed up hodgepodge of a family together in this story of lies, money, betrayal, lust, and loss in the Royal Tenenbaums. The story surrounds the Tenenbaums (nah, shit Sherlock!) which consists of Royal, his ex-wife who focuses all her attentions to her children and later in life becomes some kind of anthropologist digging up skeletal remains and delving specifically in human history, their adopted daughter who marries a therapist but is filled with many secrets, and their two sons (one is a famous tennis player and the other is this over achiever who is kind of OCD craziness). I won't give away any more than that because it would ruin the movie, and let's face it, from what I've already said you know you want to go out and get this little gem right now! My score? 9/10.

Thirdly: Oh Studio Ghibli how I adore you! You brought us such amazing masterpieces as Ponyo, Spirited Away, Howl's Moving Castle, My Neighbor Totoro, Kiki's Delivery Service, and Princess Monoke. Here you are again, leaving my daughter and I slack-jawed in a theater full of aw-inspired children of all ages to witness The Secret World of Arrietty. I must say, I was truly impressed with the quality of the storyline, the voice acting, the artistry, and the score set up for this movie. I would go so far as to say I would even consider paying full price to own this on Blu-ray (Combo pack of course). If anyone hasn't guessed it yet, I gave this movie a 10/10. It takes a lot to impress me, however, it takes a lot more to impress my daughter. If she sits still for longer than an hour, unmoving and completely captivated and spellbound, then yes... That belongs a full-score rating.

Finally: Stormhouse...Stormhouse...Stormhouse... Sorry, I thought if I said it three times it would undo ever having watched this movie. I guess not. The storyline had potential, it could have worked. I think they should have tried to get the actors to act a little less auto-matronic and more psychotic and it could have possibly worked. This piece of trash earned itself a whopping 2/10.


Update: I loved The Secret World of Arrietty I just had to buy it for my daughter for her 5th birthday, Amazon.com--I thank you for your ever low prices!  Target usually runs DVD/Blu-ray combos of this movie for $29.99 yet I found it on Amazon.com for $19.99! Woot!

Hogwarts called, they want their actor back.

Example of Creepy Children: The Shining

Example of Creepy Children: The Omen

Today's review is of the new "gateway" horror film, The Woman in Black, starring the one-the only, HARRY POTTER! Er... No? That's not his name... I knew that... Starring the one-the only, Daniel Radcliffe! And a ton of seriously creepy kids... But when aren't kids creepy? I was told not even to bother with this movie, as I work at Blockbuster and most of the people I talk to generally aren't as thrilled over horror movies and don't know what they're getting into as I do, I figured 'Hey, Why not?'. Free rentals aside and all, I've definitely seen worse offenders, AHEM, Drag Me To Hell anyone. But The Woman in Black is definitely no amazing horror movie that I'll be paying to rent much less purchasing for my collection.

Case in Point: The Woman in Black

First of all, let me just get off my chest that, yes, I did watch this movie while I was working on my research paper for my English class. So I may not have grasped everything that was going on, which wasn't a lot from what I saw. Most of the scares were produced by loud noises that produce a "cheap thrill" sensation equal to that of my daughter hiding behind the door to scare me though you can still see her toes sticking out from the frame. You know it's coming but dammit all if they didn't make it so loud that it doesn't make you flinch a little just due to the sound. The spectre of the movie, the Woman in Black, reminds me of the woman from Dead Silence, so overall not frightening for me at all. Not even ranking a 1 on my Terror scale. I will give the movie one kudo. Good job on the spectacular scenery and cinematography of this movie. The way the film was shot and the costumes and the overall eerieness of the movie lends to what COULD have been a spectacular movie, had they just upped the atty a little bit. Can we stop making movies for 10-13 year olds and start making movies for people who are in their 20's and 30's?
Secondly, as stunning as Daniel Radcliffe is to stare at (particularly naked, yes I'm talking about Equiss or however the Hell you spell it) and as easily as I could get lost in those gorgeous eyes of his or that stunning British accent, all I can see him as is Harry Potter. I would like to take one lesson from Harry Potter for this movie and just Avada Kedavre the whole bloody mess! Creepy children, shitty story line, and an amazing child actor who's just too short for this role. Stick to drama's Danny boy!

Overall I give this movie a 4/10, just for the scenery though. Watch for yourself and let me know what you think. Until next time kiddies.

"Terrible One" is right

Dear Doctor... Please, Let me see how long it takes you to pronounce the last name "Jones", five seconds. Got it. Well, Doctor............. Strong, is it? Obviously reading was not your strong point in school, good thing you went into a field where all you do all day everyday is READ.

Now that I've gotten my little pet-peeve out in the air about that bit of bad acting, I'll get to what it's from and go to the news about the horrible film quality of this flick. Tonight's not so horrifying horror flick is Humans Versus Zombies. Now onto why I dislike this movie SO much. A) The cast is made up of amateurs, which some times doesn't show and you can't tell. This is not one of those times. The cast is inexperienced and lack-luster for lack of better words. One guy is down right the most annoying character I've ever had the displeasure of seeing on screen, Chip Joslin plays this guy who you just want to die, he even has a shirt that says "Terrible One" and he definitely lives up to it. One of the other characters is a total geek who gives the feeling like he's a walking encyclopedia... Not likely at all unless he has Asberger's syndrome. The one girl I thought I might like in the movie, "GamerGirlTommi" played by Dora Madison Burge becomes unlikable within the first 10 minutes of her appearance. She gives all girl gamers a really bad name, not only demanding loot from live feed viewers but also being a complete and total fucking wimp when faced with real zombies. I don't know about everyone else out there, but I've watched countless zombie flicks and played every Resident Evil and Silent Hill game and I for one at least wouldn't break down and scream my head off like a little bitch when faced with impending doom. While yes the threat of zombies chewing my tits off would be frightening, I'd certainly grow a pair and take down as many of the bitches as I could instead of hollering and attracting more. Lamesville! The one likable character is this ex-Army vet turned security guard on the college campus, who has guns and guts and is just fuckin' awesome.
B) Every once in a while the DVD copy of this movie shows off a nasty little digitized mess wherever the white is where they have obviously altered stuff in the movie, what? Probably the weather or just over-processing the colors. But still that pixelated bullshit is really annoying when trying to watch a movie.

"My eyes! My eyes! This movie sucked so bad I had to pull my fucking eyes out to stop the bad from getting in!"

I'm not even going to rant anymore about this movie, think I'll just go to bed instead. I still have a good 30 minutes left in this movie, but I give it a 2/10 overall. Definitely NOT one to add to my zombie collection.

Hey That Dogs From...

Cinema Overdrive at The Colony Theater was last night. This time they showed cult classic A Boy and His Dog (1975). I may have hyped this up in my mind, so I was a bit disappointing with the overall presentation of this showing, it is hard however to beat Ginger, which was the last presentation by Cinema Overdrive. A Boy and His Dog is a post-apocalyptic tale of a young man and his telepathic connection with his dog (who just so happens to be the dog from The Brady Bunch) and their struggle to survive and hopefully find "Over the Hill". Blood (the dog) communicates through telepathic waves sent to his companion Vic/Albert, the voice is done through voice-over. Vic finds the food in exchange Blood uses his powers to search out females and find out when danger is near.
The movie was over-all enjoyable though I wish they had shown the Screamers that had been mentioned once or twice. The ending was enjoyable, though a bit on the predictable side. The movie did seem to jump around a bit. But for what it was it was a good movie, not one I'd want to own unless it was on VHS (which very well may be the only way to purchase this classic). I give A Boy and His Dog a 5/10 overall.

It's my only wish...

So I finally got around to watching One Day last night. I have rented the movie at least three times never once even putting it into the PS3 but finally I saw it on HBO On Demand and decided why not. I was having a good day, why not a romance movie? One Day was why I don't do romance. I give the movie a 7/10 overall.
 
One Day is the story of two friends who meet in the late '80's and stay friends over twenty years, their relationship evolving and changing in complexity as they, themselves grow and change. The movie takes place on the same day each year, July 15th YY, which I found very refreshing. I love stories that mix up the time line or do something different than the day to day time events. The characters are both loveable and annoying in their own ways. Em (Anne Hathaway) is this shy little poet who is rather poor and can't seem to really speak up for herself in the beginning of the movie, Dex (Jim Sturgess) on the other hand is the exact opposite, which plays on the whole opposites attract theory. The movie was funny, clever, and heart warming but leaves you feeling alone and broken just as the characters feel. It's definitely worth seeing in my opinion but I recommend having a batch of chocolates and a box of Kleenex handy when you watch it. Maybe some vodka, just in case.

Welcome to the Future

Finally! I can say that I have seen not just the first Back to the Future but all three. While I absolutely loved the first one, the second and third began to just drag after a while. The movies deal with paradoxes and other various themes. Appropriate for both children and adults I give the first movie a 9/10, the second a 7/10 and the third a 6/10 (for pure awesome use of the name Clint Eastwood.) While I did like how the movies all intertwined, they could've done without using the same gags time after time. It became too predictable. As far as the movies over all go, I wouldn't mind having these in my collection on Blu-ray. And might I just add it's always a pleasure to see the gorgeous Crispin Glover and also to see how great Christopher Lloyd has always been (and probably will always be!)


Also found this link that compares the first and second film opening/closing. Thought it was pretty cool!

A more modern ET

After months of being told that I needed to see Super 8 and months of saying it looks stupid, I finally lived my motto and gave it a shot. Man, oh man, was I surprised. This movie was amazingly done (minus all the extreme explosions.) I really could not have asked for more in a film, especially one where the main actors are children, WHAT?! The last time I saw children act that well in a movie was, well, E.T.

Pink eye in both eyes, please make it STOP!!!!

I gave this movie a 8/10. I will go further into this review after I return from my boring alter ego lifestyle tonight, assuming that homework does not preoccupy me, Diablo III does not steal me away, or I do not rip my eyes out from this horrible pink eye I've got right now!

Edit: So, I didn't exactly get back to finishing that review of Super 8 that I mentioned, so I will continue now. The story was solid, basically these kids who are trying to enter a junior movie competition go out after curfew to tape while the train is passing by at midnight only to witness a series of unimaginable events unfold. The children continue to try to film their movie while also trying not to be found out by the military and deal with the issues between their families. I don't want to go into too much detail about anything else but let's just say if you haven't seen this movie yet, you definitely should!

Form Your Own Opinions

While I am always one to quickly hand out my opinion, and very honestly I might add, I am always backing up my opinion by saying "You should try it for yourself and form your own opinion though" unless the movie just out right sucks.
I am sick of getting patronized and yelled at for telling someone that in my opinion a movie was awesome or that I liked a movie and then they come back tell me how stupid I am and that my taste in movies is the worst they've ever seen. Really? Because for the record, 99% of the movies I've recommended to you, you liked... So, that means you're stupid and your taste sucks too. So take that. Asshat. Yeah!

Tonight I'm just going on the record and saying that I liked The Devil Inside. Yes, it was not the best movie I've ever seen, but I went into it thinking it was going to down right suck. That is how I normally go into these newer horror movies. If I want to watch a truly great horror movie, I'll watch something by Fulci, Romero, Argento, etc. etc... From tonight forward whatever I talk about I will rate on a scale of 1-10. 1 being the shittiest piece of shit that ever shit! and 10 being of epic godliness! Now, onward! The Devil Inside is a "documentary" style film that follows a college age girl who seeks to find out if she has the same disorder or ailment that has led to her mother being committed into an asylum for murder. Her mother is in Italy and is believed to be under possession, though the Vatican will not oversee her exorcism so a priest and exorcist theorist join with the girl to uncover the truth and try to exorcise the mother. I will not give away the end or anything but I will say that the movie gave me chills. I'm Agnostic, I guess since I was at some point in my life Christian the whole thought of demons and Hell still can give me the chill but no movie has been able to do such a thing since The Exorcist and The Exorcist: The Beginning, The Devil Inside did leave me with chills and made me feel like 'Hmm... Maybe I should have one of my friends pray for my soul, if there's one left of course." In the end I would have to give The Devil Inside a 4/10. It's not a movie I would watch for a second time or consider adding to my collection but it was worth the rental and wasn't a total waste of my time.

Hopefully in the coming weeks I will be able to watch the 4th season of True Blood (why bother, it was all over Facebook last year) and possibly the new Sherlock Holmes. We'll see.

1,2, and Away We Go!

I suppose now that I'm actually taking a class on emerging technologies and that this week we are learning about Blogs (in more than one class I might add); that this would be a good time to do what so many have told me I should and make my own movie Blog. So, here I am, at 12:15 a.m. when I should be asleep... Preferably playing Diablo III... Or even doing previously mentioned classes homework assignments, I am writing a Blog. Well, you're saying to yourself, get to the point already, what will this be about. I'm glad you asked! As many of my friends and acquaintances know, I have worked around movies my whole adult life, that being said I've seen way to many to keep count of and in working at a movie store for the past three years I have told customers countless times "Really... Put it back, It's that bad." So, again. Here we are. A Blog. About my movie critiques, experiences, rants, raves, etc. etc.
To get down to it, I have not watched any movies in the past week except for Contagion, which I thought was a great movie, though not many people liked it when it was released if I recall. "Too slow" was their reasoning. This was not meant to be an Action flick it was a Drama, which they do tend to be a bit slower. Just saying. I liked how the story was told and how plausible the concept was. The cast did an amazing job with everything they had to work with, Jude Law made an excellent person to detest. For those that know me, yes... I watched a movie with Matt Damon in it... I did not realize it was him until the end of the movie because he was in it so little and did not play his typical role, so for that Matt Damon, I thank you! Perhaps after this little adventure I will give We Bought a Zoo a try. That's a BIG perhaps though!

I do have high hopes that I will finally get to watch True Blood season 4 this weekend, don't know why I'm bothering though. Between Facebook and Twitter who needs to actually watch anything anymore. Also hoping to get to watch Humans Vs. Zombies, so far I have not heard good things about it. Here's hoping the people I talked to have a difference in opinion about that like the time when we differed on Madison County. Guess we'll find out when I get to see it. Apparently the whole premiss of the movie is that these college kids (because that's not played out) are actually playing the game on campus "humans vs. zombies", you know the one! With NERF guns! Sounds like so much fun, hey boss, if you're reading this, let's have a game day!!! I digress! So they're playing their game like they do and oh noes! REAL ZOMBIES! Ensue craziness! So I guess we'll see how it turned out. I sure hope this was an okay Blog post seeing as it was my first... Probably won't be my last... Just wait for what I have to say about The Woman in Black WOOHOO! Gateway Horror!!! Until then, ciao kiddies!